This is my wardrobe song. Whenever somebody says to me, ‘Are you ever going to come out of the closet?’, I always reply: ‘I got out of the wardrobe years ago’.

(It might not be obvious; the song is written in Bristol slang from the 1970s. That’s the point. To the untutored ear, (or Boris Johnson), it sounds like gibberish. I mean, every word is right, but they don’t necessarily have the same meaning as everyday speech in 2010 London.)

Well, a very great man once said: ‘Turn again, Whittington’ and he was right. One good turn deserves another, and no good turn should remain unstoned.